This is a Disabled Pagan Voices Project Submission
Deenagh was looking forward to the Samhain Clan Gathering on The Sacred Mountain, her thirteenth year there, and she felt she had earned this as her reward for completing the Quest. Samhain was her favourite festival because it marked the Pictish New Year, a time of new beginnings,while acknowledging he past by inviting their Ancestors to join them in the frivolity and fun. Deenagh loved the atmosphere and energy of the Clan Gatherings, as everyone was there with the sole purpose of enjoying themselves with much laughter. There were merry meetings as the Pictish people greeted old friends, and through the social encounters there were possibilities of making new ones. The children were encouraged to
move freely among the festivities, and as they mixed with children of other villages, therein held the potential for new mating’s to be forged. The Anoc-Par Tribal Dance Troop were performing as usual, but this year Deenagh didn’t have to dance so she had more freedom. With the arrival of The Dragon she had spent less time with her Tribe, although she had helped to put the routine together when she could and would be there to support them, but her time was largely her own.
Deenagh chose mainly to be among the adults at the recent Gatherings because she liked to listen to the stories, and hear news of the happenings outside of her village. However, she also chose to be on her own a good deal of the time, as it was in her own company that she felt most comfortable. Regardless of what she chose to do, Deenagh enjoyed these special social occasions immensely, moving freely among her people, being sociable when the mood swayed her. She loved to listen to the Legends of her people which were told by the Shamans and Shamanesses throughout the three day event. She also loved to watch the Tribal Dance Troops of the other villages, and listen to the music of the drums beating, a primordial sound that resonated with her very Spirit. For Deenagh there was the chance to meet new people, experience new things and most importantly, to learn whatever she could that would keep her mind stimulated and her Spirit happy.
There was so much to see and do, and the time at the Gatherings always seemed to go by too quickly, but it would not be long until the next Gathering, which would be looked forward to with much anticipation. The joyous energy was an offering to their Earth Mother and the Pictish people believed that it was their happiness that honoured Her most. It was at this particular Samhain that Deenagh discovered a very important part of herself, as she learned about her sexuality, and this marked her entry to adulthood. At thirteen years old, some of the clans folk may have considered Deenagh to be a late developer in recognising her sexuality, as a lot of her people may already be Handfasted at that age. For the Pictish people, it was normal to have same gender mating’s as well as opposite gender ones, although it naturally fell that there were more opposite gender mating’s. It had not occurred to Deenagh to consider what the threshold to adulthood entailed, and it was a process so unique to every individual
that no-one could be prepared for it. However, the time was now right for Deenagh to become an adult and discover the joys of sex and sexuality.
As she sat alone on the soft ground between the scattered rocks, she began watching a Tribal Dance Troop from another village directly in front of her. There was one dancer in particular that had caught her eye and it was as though time had stood still while Deenagh was held enthralled by what she was seeing. She knew in an instant that it was women whom she felt sexually attracted to. This revelation gave her a jolt of happiness, and to Deenagh in that moment it was the best feeling in the world. It was as though she was seeing a new dimension of colour that was bright and vibrant, and Deenagh herself lit up with the energy of passion and lust. These feelings were totally new to her and they were a paradox of an out of body sensation and a heightened sense of self. She could not take her eyes away from this beautiful woman’s body who danced to the rhythm of the drum beat. When the woman saw the awareness come over her curious onlooker, she smiled in understanding. They looked into each others
eyes and their Spirits embraced, blending as one, while Deenagh’s heartbeat got faster and her breathing deeper. Deenagh beamed with pride, because this moment was her coming of age, as with discovering her sexuality now meant that she had become an adult. She felt extremely happy at the realisation that it was a woman and a lover of her own gender, like her, that she would find her true love Spirit mate one day.
As the dancing continued, Deenagh’s eyes remained transfixed on this incredibly attractive woman, who kept looking at her appreciative onlooker at every opportunity. In Deenagh’s mind she believed that this performance was purely for her own enjoyment, as it seemed that the rest of the world had slipped away and it was just the two of them. Deenagh was unaware that she was smiling as she breathed in deeply the delights of what she was seeing as she thought that she could never get enough of this, whatever this was. However, the dance had all too quickly come to an end, but the magic of the moment stayed with Deenagh as her Spirit returned to her, and she felt an inner contentment at knowing this very important part of herself.
As she tried to ground herself again following the floating sensation she had felt, she looked around her with a new sense of perspective. With her now adult eyes, she saw for the first time the beauty to behold in a woman’s body. There were many women she felt attracted to, and she gazed longingly at the female form. Deenagh could have laughed out loud as she thought that her life had now just got very interesting indeed, and she felt her own body respond to these thoughts. There was alot of newly
awakened sexual energy around Deenagh, and she sat there for some time just soaking up the feelings and sensations that were coursing through her body.
It was only a short time later that Deenagh found herself looking into the eyes of the alluring dancer, who had come looking for her lust filled onlooker when the dance routine had finished. She offered Deenagh her hand and together they left the rest of the people and the festivities behind them, and found a secluded space between towering boulders on the mountainside. There was an almost Full Moon in the night sky, and it felt so right to Deenagh that she be exactly where she was at that moment
in time, and that somehow this would be something she would remember for a very long time to come.
The two women did not speak to each other but started kissing instead, and Deenagh felt the passion inside her grow and grow, until she thought she would explode with the absolute pleasure of these new feelings and sensations. This beautiful woman was more experienced in the sexual act, and maybe a good few years older than Deenagh, so she was able to show Deenagh what it meant to be with a woman. However, Deenagh was a fast learner, and in the short time they spent together, she not only discovered
how wonderful it felt as her body was given so much sexual pleasure, but also how she could please another woman in a sexual way. Both women had a incredible encounter of intimacy and passion, a deeply satisfying sexual experience, not just on a physical level, but emotionally, mentally and Spiritually.
It was the first night of the Gathering, and after her passionate encounter with the beautiful dancer, Deenagh felt like she was floating among the festivities in sheer contentment. Her mind was full of the wonderful memory of the passion she felt and the intimacy shared between herself and the older woman whom Deenagh knew she would not see again, accepting it as a one time encounter she quietly thanked her Earth Mother for the gift of her Rite of Passage to adulthood. She was very happy as she walked among her people with a new sense of confidence and pride at the young adult she had now become. But then Deenagh heard whisperings and rumours of Dragon, and her heart felt fear as if she had been pierced with a blade. She remembered the conversations she had with The Dragon about Balance, and her first thought was that her positive experience was offset with a negative one, and she began to understand the idea of balance that she had struggled with for a long time. There was talk going around the Gathering of Dragon sightings in their area. Such talk spread fear for some who believed that Dragons would draw the attention of outsiders, bringing war upon them. It was the opinion of others that Dragons could be used, and to possess such a creature would surely bring prestige and status. Any
talk was dangerous for The Dragon, who at the very least would have to leave this land he had come to see as home, always only temporary, but home nevertheless. Deenagh felt an urgency to contact The Dragon and to inform him of the Dragon stories that were spreading around the Clan Gathering like wildfire. Already there was talk of people organising themselves into a group to capture this Dragon who could be a valuable asset indeed.
The Dragon cursed obscenities as he thought typical humans, only interested in what they could get out of it, and in this case thinking they could enslave The Dragon to do their bidding. However, The Dragon was also pragmatic, knowing that the time would come when he would have to leave, and there was always a catalyst that forced him to make a decision if he had not already made one, and it seemed that this was it. He had spent too long already in this valley between the mountains in a land called
Ireland, and he had enjoyed his time here, teaching the young human Deenagh who had come to heal him. The Dragon had also enjoyed the many conversations with his old friend, the Hawthorn Tree Dryad. He had had long since put thoughts of Deenagh as his Rider out of his head, and indeed just took each day as it came. The Dragon pondered over how he had fallen into a relaxed routine following Deenagh’s return from her Quest, while he continued to rest. He had told Deenagh that she didn’t need to stay in the clearing with him, but most times she chose to nevertheless, and he enjoyed her company more than he let on even to himself. Deenagh herself could not bear to think of a time when The Dragon would not be there, and when she did, she was filled with a sadness so great that she felt her heart begin
to break at the thought of being separated from her best friend. So in the meantime, The Dragon and Deenagh had enjoyed every day they had together without much thought for what the future held. However, all that was to change and very quickly as it turned out.
My name is Deenagh Jackson and the process of my writing has helped me understand my own Pagan beliefs in this modern day, while also helping me to connect with my Ancestors of old.
The Deenagh series of books which I started writing almost 2 years ago are about the main character Deenagh who can remember her past lives and each book tells the story of the lifetimes she has lived and the lessons learned, with her Spiritual beliefs at the heart which are important to Deenagh.
This is the first time I have shared my stories outside my close circle of friends, but as a wise man once told me “a stranger is a friend yet to be”, so feel free to contact me by email deenagh@thepentagrambox.org.uk
Brightest Blessings, Deenagh