Deenagh: The Pictish Years Chapter 14 – Thoughts of Leaving

This is a Disabled Pagan Voices Project Submission

When Deenagh returned from the Samhain Clan Gathering, immediately The Dragon sensed a difference in her, and his acute sense of smell told him what it was, that she had mated with her kind, which meant that she was now an adult. It seemed very auspicious to The Dragon because now
Deenagh was a young female adult, and she was able to make her own decisions regarding her future. However, Deenagh was in distress, because she was worried greatly for the safety of her dear friend, as it was evident that word had spread among the Pictish people of the existence of a Dragon on the land they had inhabited for generations. Deenagh feared for The Dragon who she felt was in grave danger. The Dragon was touched by her concern, but also had to smile to himself because these humans would not be able to contain him any more than any of the others had tried and failed to do so in the past. But it showed him how much she loved him, and the feelings were mutual because he felt the same way about her. They had long ago bonded and their friendship developed into a deep love. The trust that took longer to establish did come, and their relationship was deep, true and pure.

The Dragon told Deenagh that he would have to leave, because even if her people accepted him living on their land, the peace would not last, as all too soon word of a Dragon would spread beyond the Pictish people, and outsiders would come to try to capture The Dragon for themselves, bringing war to Anoc-Par. When Deenagh understood the truth of these words, she began to think that the only thing she wanted to do was to leave with The Dragon. However, she had to think carefully about the consequences of this huge decision she was going to make. Of course, the Dragon had other ideas,
because he was leaving and had no intention of taking Deenagh with him, at least that was what he tried to tell her. But in the depths of his Dragon heart, he hoped she would leave with him. He could not, and should not influence her, for this was a decision that she alone had to make. So despite half heartedly trying to dissuade her, The Dragon left Deenagh on her own to ponder, cautioning her to think through her options before committing to any decision.

The Dragon told Deenagh that he would have to leave within weeks, partly because Winter was on it’s way and he had a flight eastwards across the sea to the mountains of Wales. So she at least had a little time to think, just as she had promised The Dragon that she would do. She went to her oldest
and dearest friend in Anoc-Par, her Tree Mother of the Wizened Hawthorn who simply advised Deenagh the she must do what she felt was right. The Dryad reassured the tearful Deenagh that there would be nowhere she would be that she wouldn’t find her, that no matter where she was, she would always be able to talk to her, and this brought Deenagh great comfort, because her Tree Mother was one friend that she didn’t want to have to say goodbye to. The Dryad helped Deenagh, just by listening
to her, and with the Dryad’s calming energy, Deenagh was able to look at all the possibilities of each decision she could make. She tried to envision life in her village without The Dragon, her carrying on as before with the option of taking her place as Apprentice to the Shamaness, and becoming a
valuable member of village life in Anoc-Par. That path just didn’t appeal to her, because Deenagh felt it to be too restrictive, and she wondered who would feed her curious mind when The Dragon was gone. No matter how much she tried to think about the choice that she faced, all paths came back to The Dragon, and the thought of not being with him was too bleak to even begin to comprehend. It filled her with an emptiness and longing, and a life that she knew would be full of regrets if she chose not to leave with him.

Naturally there was the village folk to think about, and Deenagh considered who she would truly miss if she left, and she admitted to herself that there was only one person that she would miss terribly, Duira, who had been the Father figure in her life, and had helped shape the young woman she had
become. Deenagh decided that she would talk with Duira, and although she didn’t intend to tell him about The Dragon, she wanted to speak to him about the possibility of her leaving the village. She was as open and honest with Duira as she could be, telling him of her yearning to experience life, for new adventures and to meet new people, the desire to visit new lands. She told him she had a thirst for knowledge and learning that couldn’t be sated in her valley alone. Much as she loved her home, the woodland and mountains, the animals and birds, and Spirits of the land and trees, Deenagh wanted to experience more, and to her, the world was there to be explored. Duira listened, and he could see the enthusiasm and passion bursting from his daughter. He thought to himself that she was so much was she like her Mother, and he sorely missed his sister Maebh at this time in his life. He knew this bright Spirit that was his sister’s blood could not be held back, and with a heavy heart he gave Deenagh his blessing to leave if that was what she truly wanted. It was Duria’s opinion and feelings that Deenagh would take into account above all others, and in that moment she could not have loved him more, because he was the only person in her village that she truly loved unconditionally, and she knew the feeling was mutual. So when Duira gave her his blessing, Deenagh thanked him from her heart and she began to look forward and to think of what it would be like to leave her home with The Dragon whom she had grown to love and consider as her best friend.

Deenagh listened to the counsel of The Dragon who told her that to chose to leave with him was not necessarily an easier path, because it would most likely mean more physical hardship that she had known in her short life. He cautioned her that she likely couldn’t live like other humans in a village
and community. The Dragon did his best to describe to Deenagh a largely solitary existence, as he knew this would probably be the most difficult thing for this sociable young woman. But he was faced with a determined human being, who when having made up her mind was as solid as rock to shake. The one thing going for Deenagh, The Dragon thought, was that she did like her own company, and that was just as well because she was going to have to make do with just the two of them for long periods of time, so he resigned himself to having to take her with him. The Dryad had been right after all, because in the time The Dragon had spent in Anoc-Par with this human girl child turned young female adult, his old hardened heart had indeed softened and his very being soared to think that Deenagh was leaving as his Rider.

My name is Deenagh Jackson and the process of my writing has helped me understand my own Pagan beliefs in this modern day, while also helping me to connect with my Ancestors of old.

The Deenagh series of books which I started writing almost 2 years ago are about the main character Deenagh who can remember her past lives and each book tells the story of the lifetimes she has lived and the lessons learned, with her Spiritual beliefs at the heart which are important to Deenagh.
This is the first time I have shared my stories outside my close circle of friends, but as a wise man once told me “a stranger is a friend yet to be”, so feel free to contact me by email 
Brightest Blessings, Deenagh